special #1

Thirteen on his chest
Foul mouth, rocket-launching arm
Danny’s Canton-bound

vol. i #100

Two years and four days
100 Friday Haikus
This is the last one

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...OR WAS IT?!?

vol. i #99

Ninety-nine bottles
of beer on the wall, ninety-
nine bottles of beer

vol. i #98

Suckers to the side
Know you hate my 98
You gonna get yours

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Haiku adaptation of Public Enemy’s “You Gonna Get Yours.”

vol. i #97

Damn you’re looking good
Spread out on my hot pancakes
Mrs. Butterworth

vol. i #96

Hey Hey LBJ
Didn’t kill no kids today
Because he’s deceased

vol. i #95

El Seis de Mayo
Es dolor de cabeza
Mucho Tylenol

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Sequel to Friday Haiku (vol. 1) #45.

vol. i #94

Hey, buddy, what’s up?
Going to the store, you say?
Well, I’ll go with you

vol. i #93

Got tax day terrors?
Here’s a simple solution:
Don’t file, my man!

vol. i #92

Na na na na na
Na na na na na na na
Na na na Batman

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For best results, say it, don’t sing it.

vol. i #91

Hey -- knock, knock! Who’s there?
Joe. Joe who? Joe Momma, fool!
Boy, I sure got you!

vol. i #90

Roller Derby Queen
Flaming hair, fists of fury
Deadly Miss Conduct

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Dedicated to Austin, TX’s TXRD.

vol. i #89

Just a baby now
A Haiku Mistress one day
My new niece Ella

vol. i #88

Hey four-eyes. Yeah, you.
The kid in the thick glasses
Beat it, you big creep

vol. i #87

What? No! Killed himself?
You’re high, you blabbering fool!
Raoul Duke can’t die!

vol. i #86

Oh! The way you splash
Mr. Hippopotamus
Get out of my pool!

vol. i #85

A long way to go
Short time to get there, east bound
Watch ol’ Bandit run

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Haiku adaptation of Jerry Reed's "East Bound and Down."

vol. i #84

.......
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
???????

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If you're having trouble with this one, count up all the punctuation marks, and say the totals, in order, out loud. Ex.: Seven periods...

vol. i #83

Rahr! Puny humans!
Always laugh at purple pants
Make Hulk want to SMASH!!!

vol. i #82

Mr. Miyagi
Arnold, Colgate Wisdom Tooth
Suave “Pat” Morita

vol. i #81

Mocked, hunted, beaten
Cruel summer for Daniel-san
Thanks to Cobra Kai

vol. i #80

I’m feeling lazy
The 5-7-5 won’t flow
So no ‘ku for you

vol. i #79

Ig-pay Atin-lay
Is-ay ell-way uited-say
Or-fay Aiku-Hay